No one will start the fire for you

It is getting colder now. The nights are dropping into the mid to low 40s making the morning pretty cool as well. Yet during the day it is getting up to the high 60s and low 70s. So I am left with a question, do I turn on my heater or nor? With my heater on, I wake up my house (just an over glorified mountain dew can I know, but it is my house) is warm, if I don't, the waking up and getting out of bed process is brought to a whole new level of horrible. I just lay there using anything as an excuse to avoid the wrath of cold that is about to be wrought upon my body. Yet I know no one else is going to turn on my heater for me in the morning. No one else can, my doors are locked, and even if someone was to come in with the quote intent of "I'm just turning on your heater" they are most likely a liar and a thief.

The same is for those times when my affections towards God cool. No one is going to light a fire in my soul for me. I may feel encouraged to rekindle the fire, by a John Piper sermon or by a brother to pursue Christ more, but unless I start making choices to pursue Christ, I will not "make war on my flesh" as Piper says then my light will be dim.

It would be like me calling a friend and talking to them about how I don't want to get out of bed and they urge me to get up and get ready for work, I may feel motivated (especially if I were to call my Dad) but unless I get up, nothing changes. It would be absurd if I blamed my friend for my lack of initiative towards getting up. I would be lazy if I was always  dependent on someone to be pushing me to get out of bed. This is age appropriate for a child but not a man in his mid 20s.

Laundry Mat Love

I know the title of this post sounds a bit odd but stick it out and I know you will be blessed by it.

Let me paint the picture for you:
It is 9:30am on a Saturday, I am at the laundry mat because I am running out of clean clothes and in 140 square feet I just can't find the space for a washer and dryer. I am the only one here except for the young couple I am about to desribe. Now before I say anything else and make myself sound like a creeper the following observations anyone would be able to make, creeper or non creeper. With my disclaimer claimed I will procede. This couple followed me into the laundry mat and proceded to do their laundry, as they put their articles in the machines they talked as if if they were sitting at a candle light dinner and the hum of the dryers was a string quartet. Their love made even the most normal tasks special. As they waited they played rock, paper and item that cuts paper, yet they were not loud about their love and their friendship like so many are these days, their love was their own, no one else seemed to be needed to tell them their love was vaild, they just lived it out.

This is a great picture of the gospel, because marriage is a picture of the gospel, we can gain so much insight into both by looking at the other. Just like this couple's love gave laundry meaning, the gospel also gives meaning to everyday life. Now going to work is not just going to work it is a battle to be won each and everyday. My friendships are no longer for my own pleasure but, they are men to fight beside in our war againist our old nature. They are now my brothers to be praying for. The gospel has now caused the women in my life are not for my own pleasure, they are sister's to be defended and loved because of the gospel. Their love gave meaning to those things things that normally are mundane, just as the Gospel gives meaning to life.

The one thing I hate

The one thing I hate most is aparently prayer. I say this because as human beings we avoid that which we do not like. If I don't like black people then I don't go around black people, If spinach is displeasing to my pilate then I don't eat it, if tabacco makes me cough then I sit in the non smoking section (or pass a law that makes illegal to smoke in resturants). If I find a person who idolizes Glen Beck and never says anything good about life annoying then I find someway to make their idle words not near my then bleeding ears.

With advoidance being my bases of what a person finds displeasing then in my case (so please infer I am stating that not all of the above statements are of my personal
hates, I do like spinach ,mostly uncooked though, I do like people of other ethnic groups ,one black woman I like a lot) I really hate to pray. Not that I attend anti prayer rallies, or make signs protesting personal pray, but when I go to pray, I do everything to avoid it. Like write a blog post ... maybe I should go... bye...

1 thess 5:16-18

Be in prayer constantly because it is the will of God for us in Christ Jesus.

What is my motivation?

MMMM Bacon

We have all seen the scene; the over dramatic thespian is struggling to get their lines right and they inquire with zeal to their director "what is my motivation?"

There is one thing that all of us are motivated by; food. I work at a special needs school and to motivate some of our students food items are used as reinforces for targeted behaviors. When "Jimmy" does something right he gets a skittle and when he doesn't, he doesn't. Seeing that connection I understand why I show up at work everyday; because if did not, I would go hungry. It isn't that I do not like my work or find it somewhat fulfilling, but the basic motivation behind me getting up and being at work by 8 is because, without being there I will not get feed the following month. That hungry drives us to wake up, even when we don't feel like getting out of bed. That hungry moves us to deal with situations that we would normally not put ourselves in. That hungry moves us to keep showing up everyday until we retire or find a better feeding trough. That hungry will drive us to do some pretty crazy things.


Lets look at this spiritually:


What about when Jesus said that those who hungry and thirst for righteousness will be filled, (Matthew 5)? What does that hungry and thirst for righteousness cause us to do then? Do we hungry for righteousness so much that we fight for our time with God? Do we thirst so much for him, that we feel it when we haven't been praying? Just like hungry pains seem to disappear if we ignore them long enough, so does the hungry drive for righteousness if we ignore it long enough. And just as if we are in a routinely of eating healthy and our appetite for good food grows. Just as our desire for the word of God grows as we spend more time with him. So I would like to challenge all of us to seek out the Lord and ask him to grow our appetite for righteousness and to keep eating of his word because he is the only true satisfaction in this life.


So fight for your time with God, just a man works hard for his food, so should we work hard for our to be more righteous.

The way God has made for us to grow in righteousness is through prayer, reading of the bible and being in a biblical community. Yet none of this matters unless God has changed your heart, he puts the desire for righteousness in your heart when the Holy Spirit gives you a new nature, one that hungers and thirst for Him, not for sin like you once did. So if God hasn't changed your nature, repent of your sins and believe the gospel; the fact that Jesus died for evil men, that is my hope, that is my motivation.

I had a thought...

I had a something strange happen to me the other night... I got home at midnight and found all one hundred and forty square feet of my house smelling like my trash.  So I promptly took my lovely mix of gross and eww to the dumpster and then I saw my house. Now that's not so strange, actually that shows to be good thing seeing that no one had taken my home while I was taking out the trash (when your home is on wheels and has an engine you wonder if your house is going to be driven away by someone who thinks it is a tank with a couch in it), what was strange is I had the enlightening thought "holy crap I live in that?" Now I've been there for almost two months, you'd think I would have not have thought that like it was a new thing. You would think I would be think that pretty frequently. Yet that night I saw the real state of my home.

It is kinda like when we first see our sin; we have lived in it for years... yet we have never seen the absurdity of it all. We never saw it in a true light. Much like I had never looked at my house that I way, we never see our sin for what it really is until it is compared with the greatness of God, and how it really has made him mad. When we view of God's wrath, the beauty of Jesus dieing for you and me gets even prettier. It is a like a  snowflake on a black surface, the details of it are brought forth.When we forget about the wrath of God, we are taking away the background of a beautiful work of art.


Lord help us see the full picture of your love for us in Christ's life, death, and resurrection. Thank you for showing love to us when we deserved wrath, the hell of hells, yet you forgive us... and give us the love of love from you, who is the Lord of lords. Thank you Jesus for your awesome grace, your awesome power, and your awesomeness. You truly are the most beautiful, the most lovely savior of the world. Holy spirit teach us in the word how to see you everyday, help us glorify God in all that we say, think and do. In the name of Jesus Amen

Heart is where the Home is.

Most people have heard the proverb home is where the heart is. What if we reversed this thought? Heart is where the home is? What if our hearts change and are dependent on where we call home? Maybe they are mutually dependent on each other that where my affections are directed my home is there, and where my home is my affections are directed towards there. Because   I find a scary sense of security in my home whose foundation is 6 dry rotted tires. Why are my affections directed towards this temporal  home of mine? Maybe I see this aluminum box, and it is more of a reality to my earthly self than the God who created me? Maybe this is part of the earthly-ness that Paul calls for believers to put to death in  Colossians 3?

Colossians 3

Put On the New Self

 ¹If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. ² Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. ³For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. ⁴When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.

 ⁵ Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. ⁶ On account of these the wrath of God is coming. ⁷ In these you too once walked, when you were living in them. ⁸But now you must put them all away: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. ⁹ Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices ¹⁰and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. ¹¹ Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.

 Apparently, as a follower of Christ I have died...How does my apparent death change the way I view this dead life? The things that my dead self once lived for, must die too. It makes no sense to feed a dead man, so why do we go on feeding our dead nature with the sins that it gains its strength from? My alive life is with Christ, therefore my home/heart is Him, not this dead world. My affections, my time, my strength, my being, is to be for Him... not for the frail Aluminum box.   

Defining my concerns

It happened on a casual Friday, visiting family for the Labor Day Holiday. My over powered phone in the land of non 3gness, rang with bright joy that I had a new voice mail.

I listened, I waited, I typed in my passcode, I waited, I listened, then my news; My park manager, in her 80 something voice, notified me that my water had been turned off because my home was leaking.

Now this news is nothing new to me. When this motorhome was made I think it leaked. Yet I was still troubled. I was concerned about my stuff, my house. What do I have that is going to be fixed by my anxiety?!

After a short walk doing worry lane, the Holy Spirit showed me the sinful road I was traveling, and the extra weight I was bringing with me on when I was with my family.

When I got home, I found no damage only a plastic water line that had broken. So one Labor day of labor and my water concerns were laid dormant once again.

Why do we worry? Didn't Jesus say he would take care of us? That his provision is much better then our revision? This home has taught me a lot of about where my security, and hope is to be. I hope we all are growing in our trust in the provision of God. As our trust in him grows the control we need, is released.

Look at the stars

7 But the Lord God helps me; therefore I have not been disgraced; therefore I have set my face like a flint, and I know that I shall not be put to shame.
Isaiah 50:7

Last night I was sitting outside enjoying the cool evening that was a real treat for Richmond in August. I grew up where cool evenings were very common and you could see a plentitude of stars. Yet where I am in Richmond I couldn't even see one star; partly due to the cloudy skies of the day, but this made me think about the times that from where we are we really can't see God working. Or there are times we are so stuck in our sin that we cannot see God's grace. We look and try to seek it out but something keeps us stuck in our pitiful state, yet praise God that he is a graceful God who takes pity on poor sinners and moves to a place that the clouds of sin and lights of this world no longer block out the glories of himself. We know that our God is faithful, we have the history of God working and saving men to be a testimony for his faithfulnesses. The question is will you and I seek the Lord's help in moving us from our spot of spiritual lukewarm light into glory of a life that is in constant view of his grace? Will we be like Isaiah and make our faces like flint, because our Lord is faithful, that his home is in heaven and he does all that he pleases? We can stand strong because our foundation is not ourselves but on the finished work of Christ.

1 Month

At the end of the month I will be here for 30ish days. I realize that I don't miss my large house. Cleaning takes a couple sweeps with a broom and I'm pretty much done. I'm on vacation from the school I work at and I have gotten to be home more. Pray that I don't waste my time here and seek out time with our Father and would long to be with him.

Following one's own advice

The other day my girlfriend and I were talking about kitchen accidents, and I shared the story about cooking bacon with no shirt on. Needless to say it was not a good experience. Well this morning before church I got the great idea that I wanted to eat bacon after my morning walk. Well I was also in the middle of getting ready for church. I did get a shirt yet. So I did not learn from my past experience with shirtless bacon. This time with a very small kitchen I didn't have anywhere to hide. Sometimes I question myself concerning my sense.

Proverbs 26:11
As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly

2 Corin 7:10 ¹⁰For godly grief produces a repentance that leads to salvation without regret, whereas worldly grief produces death.

I maybe been rather foolish in my culinary adventure this morning but also my grief was that of the world. It hurt me but not a spiritual concern just one of the world like a cut knee or a bloody nose.

If my sin causes the same reaction as bacon burns then I am in trouble.

Holy spirit help me!

In short my plumbing now is usable. The sink war is at a conditional cease fire. The conditions are as follows:
1. The pipe leading into the facet will only drip a little.
2. I will put cleaning supplies around it so I can't see it.
3. The facet will work properly and I can live with hot running water.

The shame of improper water. The hardship of the woman at the well that Jesus treated as a perso, when the rest of the world treated her as an object. The confusing part of people is that we treat people as objects and objects as people. We disregard hurting humans for stuff. Jesus found his substance that day at the well, by treating her like a person.

Though in his humanitarian treatment of her, he wasn't afraid to tell her how it was. We cannot confuse gentleness and lying. In our treatment of others we cannot forget their greatest need. That of salvation.

So how does this relate to a sink? Well when you treat a house problem with more concern then anything else then I believe my affections are in the wrong place. Because really a slight leak is only a slight problem; does it need to be fixed yes; should control you? No so much, so the earthly problems are not so demanding when your water comes from heaven.

Stinkin Sink

Growing up I found it odd that when I heard people yell at inanimate objects. I haven't really understood it completely, but I am starting to understand.

Things

I find it truly horrifying that my heart tries to find hope and security in the most frail pieces of property. I was feeling low because of the sink not working and acting rather moody about it and RV not coming together like it I would of liked it too (again my lazy mind and thinking everything in life should be easy). At the time though I didn't know that the RV was the reason why I was feeling the way that I did. I only knew I hated the way I felt, but I came home and it all changed. My roommate had went and fixed everything on my to do list. He sealed all the place that needed sealing, he put new filters in the A/C; everything! I felt joyful again, I was happy:). The only thing is, that this showed me something very scary about my heart. That my joy was dependent on the state of my house; when it was in disorder with a lot work to be done it weighted on my soul because I had put my joy and hope in it. The RV had became my mobile deity complete with leaky pipes. Pathetic polytheistic heart of mine, making gods out wood and metal. Where I went wrong was that I allowed this unhallowed object take place of the true hallowed as my source of joy and grief. That instead of being joyful in my salvation and grieving over my sin; I was mourning over a sink and joyful in an A/C filter.

This has really made me think; where does my hope come from? From time to time my pagan heart revisits me and stays for a day or two, but because my Father loves me he shows me my error and lovingly corrects me. So my hope continues in the Lord; not because I am able, but because He is.

war with myself

so for the past week i have been fighting a leaking sink. Hence why i haven't been on lately. This project has taken all of the semi free time of the life I have. Rightfully so since indoor plumbing is a legal right of every American isn't it? Well it isn't yet it is rather nice to have along with it being hot as well. Yet for a lot of people clean water is not available, let alone indoor plumbing with hot water. So my social justice plug today is from Westminster Pres. They are auctioning rain barrels as a fund raiser for clean water in Hati. You can contact them and place a bid by going to their website wpcrichmond.org

On to what I've learned:

Sometimes things are hard. I know what a novel idea; life has hardship. For me though most of what I've had to do in life has came and went with ease, but the fight, the war I wage against my evil desires has not came and went. What am I to do lay down and stop trying? Just like have with my plumbing problem if i quit on that then this simple life is lost. Without water the Rv is nothing more than a primitive shack with electricity and A/C. Without fighting this war with my old nature, I'm left with a hollow and not very enjoyable shell of Christianity.

We are left with a choice; do we fight out our war? or do we settle for a shack?

Hot / Cold

Who knew that hot water was so nice? Well after a week of cold showers a hot one is very amiable.

Now this is the beauty of the written word, that I can spin this experience anyway I want to. Have you noticed that there are not any pictures of the bathroom? A convenient lapse of my photographic lens.

In favor of keeping favor, I haven't written about my cold showers, and that human nature, we make things seem better then they really are. Maybe I should check myself on that?

Small hole:Big problem

So remember when we first started working on ELDO, and we fixed all the water damage, and we "fixed" the leaks in the roof? Well we got a lot of rain, and it rained relentlessly, and the way the roof is designed, the rain water is to flow towards the back, and on off the roof. In theory this works pretty well. So we sealed around the air conditioner, the sky light and thought "surely we have fixed any leaks!" Well I was sitting the RV the other night and I saw water dripping from one of the cabinets, I thought "well this is bad"

So I placed a towel inside the cabinet to soak up the water and waited for the "almost, but not quite entirely unlike" a hurricane like rain to stop so I could look on the roof. To my dismay I found, complete with waves, a lake forming on my roof. This showed that our sealing around the major leak prone areas could literally hold water . I looked about and found an eye bolt, not a new apple product, a piece of hardware that someone thought would go very well on the roof of a hundred year old motor home. So this was making for a very good drain for my roof top pool, right into my living roof, kitchen, and dining room. Needless to say I removed the bolt and filed the hole with sealant.

During this adventure I thought that a move to Arizona or Kuwait seemed like a very good option. Highly unrealistic but it would solve my leaking roof, no rain, no leak, no problem. Hardship reveals the weakness of everything. As people we do not know how weak we really are until we are tested. Yet if we do not go through hardship we will not know that the whole of ourselves is broken ,not just one little part, that with our him we can do nothing, as he said, and Jesus didn't lie.

Even small houses feel big; when they are just what you need.

Last night I got a chance to sit and enjoy the calm of this abnormal home that I now truly am calling home. As I was sitting there I looked around, and it seemed so big. The space just seemed to be more than enough. I moved from a 2200 square foot house, into a 300(if that) square foot rv, yet I had never been so satisfied with the space that God had given me to rest in.

So when you're satisfied in what you have life truly has a different feeling, I guess satisfaction is the word i'm looking for.

Trailer Trash

This magnet on our fridge was a gift from the family that let us keep the RV in their back yard for so long while we were fixing it up. Like this magnet we maybe trailer trash but we are clean trailer trash.

Love Jesus; Hate Sin, Matt

The moved in kitchen

Love Jesus; Hate Sin, Matt

Love Jesus; Hate Sin, Matt

Love Jesus; Hate Sin, Matt

We Made It!

We made it!
Love Jesus; Hate Sin, Matt

Moved In!

I just slept in it last night at the park. My neck hurts from leaning forward because I pushed up against the wall last night while I was sleeping. My clothes are packed in tight around the driver-side door, Ryan's stuff is by the passenger, everything is still pretty disorganized so give me a day or two and I hope to be settled in.

Like everything in life, for this to work God must complete the task.

Special thanks to the Kidder's for letting us park the Eldo at their house for over a month, and being so good to us. They really exemplified Christlike hospitality and generosity. by letting us keep our Eldo there.

Love Jesus; Hate Sin, Matt

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Love Jesus; Hate Sin, Matt

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Its not about the money!

I've been wrecked the past week on my view of money. This has been my week in view of money.

1. I was dumb and decided to wait on getting new tires for my car because I didn't want my bank account to drop below a certain point. Then I got a flat tire. I lost all bargaining power at that point, because when you're running on a dummy spare; you are the dummy. So the tires cost me more because I couldn't get the price down because when you're in need you're in need.

2. After dropping a mint at Firestone, I go to an atm to get some cash, and I left my card in the machine. So when I realize this, 4 hours later, at Lowe's I called my bank and canceled my card and got a new one. Now my pseudo-limitless spending power is now suspended for a week to ten days.

I'm now limited to using the money I got at the atm and checks. Who uses checks?

3. Today I decided to go sell some of my stuff and drop some stuff off at goodwill. I left at my house at 5pm, every place that would buy stuff that a 20 year-old would like to sell, was closed and we had a hurricane like storm, good thing I got new tires.

They did pretty well, not gonna lie.

God really has shown me that this move in my life is not about the money. It is not so I can save up treasures on earth. I tried that recently and God didn't let that last to long.

Hebrews 12:3-11
3 Consider him who endured from sinners such hostility against himself, so that you may not grow weary or fainthearted. 4In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. 5And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons?

"My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord,
nor be weary when reproved by him.
6For the Lord disciplines the one he loves,
and chastises every son whom he receives."

7It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields(S) the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

So praise Him that he does not let us chase after things of this world when we are his. He treats us as a loving father treats his children, but he is not a human who makes mistakes he is the almighty God who never fails or makes a mistake. How wonderful of a hope do we have in our Lord?

The new lounge

Do you ever wish that you could eat dinner on your couch with a real table, I can

The fixed kitchen

The new refrigerator, new heater. I enjoy looking at this picture.

Those times of Joy

The day of the 26th was a day of Joy for the Losing your grip project. We fixed up a lot of the ascetics of the Eldo. The structure work was done. Hot water heater in, heater in, leaks fixed. (I fought with a leaky pipe for almost a week. This held up construction and made me drop to my knees begging God to help me fight the war that this leak had declared on my happiness.)The joy of having your home coming together after weeks of work is a very satisfying experience.

Love Jesus; Hate Sin, Matt

Psalm 127:1 Unless the Lord

Psalm 127:1 Unless the Lord builds the house those who build labor in vain.
Love Jesus; Hate Sin, Matt

Despose of the trash

This is the back of my car full of 5 50 gallon trash bags.

Love Jesus; Hate Sin, Matt

The time is near

It is a Wednesday afternoon, my time to let go is fast approaching, the security of a big house, big television, big everything is being pulled of my hands. Maybe I'm not hanging from the edge, maybe just maybe my foundation is secure. What if instead of keeping me from falling, these things in my hands have kept me from flying? Maybe the bigness only makes it harder to really like my life? Maybe by losing my grip on my life I will truly learn what it means to live? 10 days till I lose my grip.

Ryan looking at it
Love Jesus; Hate Sin, Matt

removed the old hot water heater
Love Jesus; Hate Sin, Matt

removed the old fridge
Love Jesus; Hate Sin, Matt

New lights

track lights!

After a week or so

The redone back of the motor home

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digging deep

Take out everything that is gross

Its Bad

Take out everything

Step Two

Find out how bad the leak is in from the roof

Step One

Find out how bad the water and bug damage is

The Beginning of the new age?

What if American culture changed? What if we left our, live beyond our means mindset and lived below our means? This is what two 20 somethings have decided to, this is what Losing Your Grip, is all about; losing of the need for so many things and gaining experience in simplicity.

So what is our losing your grip experience?

Finding El Dorado - - - A 1973 motorhome - - - One that needs a lot of care to make it livable. So join us for this free falling experience, and maybe you'll be inspired to Lose your grip too.